well hello everybody. I know it’s been a while sence I last posed something and let me explain. I’ve been busy with school and a bunch of things have been going on that I don’t really want to talk about … Esp in this state that I’m in right now … Witch is exactly why I’m writing right now. These feelings have to get out and I cant stand crying another tear without explaining anything to anybody and hiding how I feel from almost everyone I know. Well in the time that ive been gone I got a boyfriend … He’s amazing, funny charming sweet …. Attractive ! …. Everything I’ve ever hoped for in a person I found… But there is one flaw in this amazing relationship …. He’s a marine … And he leaves to japan on Friday … For 2 years … And I cant say good bye … He was supposed to be on leave next week so I could see him but .. He got denied of his leave … I don’t get to say good bye to my amazing boy… When I first saw him I would never … EVER think I would feel this way about him… To want to introduce him to my parents … To want to go places with him … To have a craving to lay next to him so badly it hurts … I honestly don’t get this feeling I have for him … I’ve never felt this way before … This ache … This craving .. This sadness and selfishness to take him home just for myself … But I know I cant do that. He has a duty that I cant be there for .. I cant be selfish but I have to be selfless .. No matter how many times I will cry at night … like tonight… Or how many times I feel this pain in my chest from not seeing his face or his voice … As I lay here for a what seems like the hundredth time .. Holding myself in my arms and curled up in a ball I don’t know what to do … For once I don’t know what to do … He means the world to me and he told me I was his too.. As I think about these memories with him these limited times with him that I would never change for the world … I would never think they would bring me so much pain … Every memory I’ve ever shared with him were amazing. Not one time did I ever frown but … Now thats all I can bring … Thats all I can manage to give to The world but I know for him I have to be supportive and strong … But right now … Everything seems hopeless … I find it funny though. Because when I told myself I give up on love .. On people … He comes around and flips everything upside down… I’m hooked… Addicted… I’m crazy for him… And I don’t know what to do… But I know one thing I’ll never do… I’ll never give up not just on him but on everything … I will not give up on this becAuse I see something with him… I see a future with him… I may not have been the smartest in the past but… I feel like I have something good.. Something right … Something real… As I’m laying here I keep thinking of this saying my grandma used to tell me … I’m sure you have herd it but… It goes like this “all good things come to those who wait” … Ill wait … For as long as it takes … I’ll wait for you